"Poop Scoop"

That's what I am, according to my 4-year-old. And, let's be honest...I spend most days trying to decipher which of my children is more bi-polar. The same kid who likes to call me a "poop scoop" when he's mad at me, also follows me around the house 85% of the day calling me "my cutie little mama" and "cutie wootie", and telling me he's going to marry me. ;) Bi-polar, I tell ya! 

But mostly just a typical day with a mouthy, yet sweet as pie almost 5-year-old. 

This boy is my personality twin. Which totally comes back to bite me in the ass. I get it...so sorry, Mom! ;) He likes things a particular way and when one little thing goes wrong...look out, because it ain't pretty. I know when he's gonna blow and most of the time I'm the only one who can step in and know exactly what to say before he goes into full blown exorcism fit mode. The only explanation I have for knowing exactly what to do is because I can see so much of myself in this little boy. 

I get so bent out of shape when something doesn't go exactly the way I want. I'm so (self-diagnosed) OCD that I can barely think straight when one little thing is off or messed up. I love and hate that about myself. When I'm overwhelmed or stressed, things just spew out of my mouth like word vomit. 

Much like Dawson calling me a poop scoop, or telling me he doesn't like me. ;) 

Although I could sometimes kick myself for passing that trait to him, I sure love his fiery personality. :) He does everything to the fullest, and his love for whatever he is doing is so apparent. 

Daws gets so excited over the little things, much like his mama. :) 

And, I love that about him. 

Some days when he just wants to jump in slushy puddles, and I'm so worried about the stupid loads of laundry and dishes that need to be done...I really wish I had less of a perfectionist/ocd personality in me. Add my wild little Mr. Hudson in the mix, and my stress really gets the best of me at times. But, I know I'm doing the best that I can. And, I know my boys know how much I love them...even when I look like my head is going to spin around and green pea soup is going to fly out. ;)

Such a great reminder...

We all have these mommy moments, and guess what? It's okay. It's okay if you feel like you want to walk out the door. It's okay to lock yourself in the bathroom for 2 minutes and just cry. It's okay to look forward to nap and bedtime. It's okay to feel like you're gonna go crazy if you step on one more toy or if your one-year-old dumps a bowl of Fruit Loops on the floor for the third time in a row. It's okay. 

The real kicker of it all, is that I love all of those moments because that's what makes me a better mom. I learn from not only the good days, but the bad days as well. There is nothing I'd rather be doing that staying at home with my kids. I thought from the time I had Dawson until the time he would be going to Kindergarten would last forever. Guess what? He'll be 5 in June and I can't even begin to fathom him being gone from me for the majority of the day. Those 5 years did not last forever. In fact, the older he got the faster they went. The same little boy who drives me absolutely batty on certain days, who calls me a poop scoop, who tests my patience, who I can see myself in...is the one who I couldn't imagine my entire day without. He is THE funniest, sweetest, creative, not shy, self-confident, stubborn boy. I am so proud of him and how much he has grown over years!

And, although there are days I certainly feel like a poop scoop myself, I know that when I go to bed at night there is nothing I'd rather be doing the next day than being a mom to my two boys. 

No one ever said it would be easy, but it sure is my favorite job by far. :)